i do still have feelings for him. 

you know me so well. “don’t lie to me.”

it happens. but i can’t be with him. and i’m just as happy with who i’m with now.

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why do you still have feelings for him? why do you miss him? why do wish you still had him? why do you still want to protect him from all the heartbreak? why do you still want what is best for him? why do you still want to show up on his doorstep next summer? why do you think about him every single day? why is he alllways in your dreams? why do you constantly think about all the plans you and him HAD? 

because i love him. either you love someone or you never did. he always said that. and i know i can do more for him that anyone else. i can make him feel how he deserves to. and i know how good he is. and that he’s better than some of the things he does.. but i would still be with him. and work through it. and i want to know if what we had emotionally, would be the same physically—if we would have that good of a connection. and i believe, 1 almost 100% that we would. we would be perfect together. and to me, it isn’t plans we HAD.. it’s plans that are still there, but a bit delayed. that will happen. come hell or high water.. because he’s the only person i can see me spending the rest of my life with. 

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